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Till Death: MacLeod's good friends are having marital problems and he turns to Methos for help. Just what the hell was he thinking, anyway?!
|[Inside the barge. Methos is
"ohming" in meditation.]
Duncan, irritated: You know, you could do that up on deck. The view's better.
Methos: Calms the spirit. You should try it sometime.
|Duncan: What are you doing
Methos: The place I rent is being sold. I hate moving.
Duncan: Then go move into a hotel!
Methos: I wouldn't stay in any hotel that Adam Pierson could afford.
|Duncan: Well, it's your
problem if you're seen here. [Looking through mail.]
Methos: Anything interesting?
Duncan: I'll let you know. Oh, Gina and Robert de Valicourt are getting married again.
Methos: I thought they were married.
Duncan: Well, they're doing it every hundred years.
|Methos: Madly in love,
Duncan: No. Gluttons for punishment.
Methos: I was married once, you know. Oh, come to think of it, I was married 67 no, 68 times.
Duncan: You had 68 wives?!
|Methos: Yeah. Never one of
us though. That would be too much of a commitment for me to make. You have to love someone
a hell of a lot to be with them 300 years. Tough to imagine, huh?
Duncan: Nah, it's not. Not if you knew Gina. Fitzcairn and I were madly in love with her.
|[Later, back inside the barge.]
Methos: It's finally happened. You've lost your mind.
Duncan: Well, come on, Methos. You'd be doing them an incredible favor.
Methos: Read my lips: N.O.
Duncan: Okay, you'd be doing me a favor. [Serving him coffee.] Milk?
Methos: Aw, now that's not fair. You're making it personal now. You think that I'll feel guilty when I say no?
Methos: You're wasting your time. I haven't felt guilt since the 11th century. I don't even know these people!
Duncan: Yeah, well that's why I'm asking you. All you have to do is act a little.
|Methos: Do I look like an
Duncan: Oh, you've been with the Watchers for years and no one's ever suspected you. Don't you want to see Gina and Robert live happily ever after?
Methos: Yeah. But I want to see me live happily ever after even more.
|Duncan: Oh, come on,
Methos. They won't even know who you are. You'll just be this mysterious Immortal who's
coming after Robert's head. Robert and Gina's marriage is in your hands.
Methos: You're not listening to me. I don't give a damn about their marriage.
|Duncan: Well, I do.
Methos: Is it really that important to you?
Duncan: Yes, it's that [bops him on the head] important to me.
Methos: Okay, I'll do this for you. And you give me the barge.
|Duncan: [laughs] Right.
Like you're serious.
Methos: Yeah, I'm serious. Hey, I need a place to live. That's the deal, take it or leave it.
Duncan: Fine. If that's what it takes.
Methos: That's what it takes.
|Duncan: You better make it
Methos: Like you say, dahling, I'm an act-or.
Duncan, less than convinced: Oh good.
|[In an abandoned warehouse.]
Robert: Blackbeard. Bluebeard. Drake. I must have sailed with half the pirates in the Caribbean. I kind of miss those old ships.
Methos: Not me. I hate the sea.
Robert, concerned: Oh? Why is that?
|Methos: Crossed the
Atlantic to Iceland with a bunch of Irish monks, 765. Six of us in a rowboat. No
|[Buzz as Duncan and Gina drive
Methos & Robert: Showtime.
[They start clanking swords.]
Gina: Robert! Leave him alone, you bastard!
Duncan: Gina! Gina, you can't interfere. Gina! Gina, wait!
Methos: [whispering to Robert] Here comes hip, feint, hip, thrust, jump back.
Robert: Yes, got it.
Gina: He could lose his head!
Duncan: Gina, no! If he does, it'll be the last thing that guy sees.
Robert: [to Methos] There. That should do it. Just give me a jab. Not too deep.
Methos: Wuss. Where's your sense of drama? [Runs him through with sword.]
Duncan: No, Gina! No! [Tries to hold her back.]
Duncan: Gina, no!
Methos: [to Robert] Sorry.
|Gina: [to Methos] You're
dead! Come back here! You're dead!
[Methos runs off then turns around to look.]
[Duncan rushes up to Methos.]
Methos: Do something!
Duncan: Get out of here!
Methos: What the hell was that all about? You were supposed to keep her away. She'll kill me! [Runs off.]
|[Inside the barge.]
Methos: I knew it. I knew it! Getting between a married couple, it's a rule I haven't broken for 2000 years. I knew this would happen.
|Duncan: Look, she'll cool
off. I'm just telling you to be careful, that's all.
Methos: Great. So I lose my head after 5000 years so that you can play marriage guidance counselor. I must have been out of my mind!
|Duncan: Oh, Methos, come on. The marriage is in two day's time. All you have to do is lay low for a while. They'll go off on their honeymoon. They'll be there for... 10 years. She'll forget all about this.||Methos: Stake your life on
that, would you?
Duncan: [unconvincing pause] Yeah.
Methos: Okay, gimme the keys.
Duncan: What keys?
|Duncan: What keys?
Methos: The keys to the barge.
Duncan: [laughs] You weren't serious. You were testing me.
|Methos: No. If I'm gonna
die, you're gonna pay me for it. Gimme the keys.
Duncan: I can't give you the barge. I just redecorated it!
|Methos: Nice job. Gimme
the keys. Come on.
Duncan: [relents] With friends like you, who needs enemies.
Methos: I was just thinking the same thing.
|[Duncan goes to sit down at his
Methos: Hey! Off.
Duncan: What? It's my chair.
Methos: [gloating] My chair now! [Sits down and puts his feet on the desk.]
Methos: You know where the door is.
[Duncan gathers some papers. Knocks Methos' feet off desk. Methos smiles as Duncan leaves.]
Methos: Have a nice day!
|On to Part 2 >>>|
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