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Till Death: MacLeod's good friends are having marital problems and he turns to Methos for help. Just what the hell was he thinking, anyway?!

[Inside the barge. Methos is "ohming" in meditation.]

Duncan, irritated: You know, you could do that up on deck. The view's better.

Methos: Calms the spirit. You should try it sometime.

1.jpg (11562 bytes) Duncan: What are you doing here?

Methos: The place I rent is being sold. I hate moving.

Duncan: Then go move into a hotel!

Methos: I wouldn't stay in any hotel that Adam Pierson could afford.

2.jpg (10631 bytes) Duncan: Well, it's your problem if you're seen here. [Looking through mail.]

Methos: Anything interesting?

Duncan: I'll let you know. Oh, Gina and Robert de Valicourt are getting married again.

Methos: I thought they were married.

Duncan: Well, they're doing it every hundred years.

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Methos: Madly in love, huh?

Duncan: No. Gluttons for punishment.

Methos: I was married once, you know. Oh, come to think of it, I was married 67 — no, 68 times.

Duncan: You had 68 wives?!

4.jpg (14002 bytes) Methos: Yeah. Never one of us though. That would be too much of a commitment for me to make. You have to love someone a hell of a lot to be with them 300 years. Tough to imagine, huh?

Duncan: Nah, it's not. Not if you knew Gina. Fitzcairn and I were madly in love with her.

5.jpg (10705 bytes) [Later, back inside the barge.]

Methos: It's finally happened. You've lost your mind.

Duncan: Well, come on, Methos. You'd be doing them an incredible favor.

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Methos: Read my lips: N.O.

Duncan: Okay, you'd be doing me a favor. [Serving him coffee.] Milk?

Methos: Aw, now that's not fair. You're making it personal now. You think that I'll feel guilty when I say no?

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Duncan: Sugar?

Methos: You're wasting your time. I haven't felt guilt since the 11th century. I don't even know these people!

Duncan: Yeah, well that's why I'm asking you. All you have to do is act a little.

 

9.jpg (14221 bytes) Methos: Do I look like an actor?

Duncan: Oh, you've been with the Watchers for years and no one's ever suspected you. Don't you want to see Gina and Robert live happily ever after?

Methos: Yeah. But I want to see me live happily ever after even more.

11.jpg (12749 bytes) Duncan: Oh, come on, Methos. They won't even know who you are. You'll just be this mysterious Immortal who's coming after Robert's head. Robert and Gina's marriage is in your hands.

Methos: You're not listening to me. I don't give a damn about their marriage.

 

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13.jpg (11539 bytes) Duncan: Well, I do.

Methos: Is it really that important to you?

Duncan: Yes, it's that [bops him on the head] important to me.

Methos: Okay, I'll do this for you. And you give me the barge.

 

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15.jpg (7813 bytes) Duncan: [laughs] Right. Like you're serious.

Methos: Yeah, I'm serious. Hey, I need a place to live. That's the deal, take it or leave it.

Duncan: Fine. If that's what it takes.

Methos: That's what it takes.

 

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18.jpg (10721 bytes) Duncan: Fine.

Methos: Good.

Duncan: Good.

Methos: Right.

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19.jpg (10829 bytes) Duncan: You better make it look good.

Methos: Like you say, dahling, I'm an act-or.

Duncan, less than convinced: Oh good.

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23.jpg (7499 bytes) [In an abandoned warehouse.]

Robert: Blackbeard. Bluebeard. Drake. I must have sailed with half the pirates in the Caribbean. I kind of miss those old ships.

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Methos: Not me. I hate the sea.

Robert, concerned: Oh? Why is that?

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28.jpg (13560 bytes) Methos: Crossed the Atlantic to Iceland with a bunch of Irish monks, 765. Six of us in a rowboat. No facilities.

Robert: Oh.

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[Buzz as Duncan and Gina drive in.]

Methos & Robert: Showtime.

[They start clanking swords.]

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Gina: Robert! Leave him alone, you bastard!

Duncan: Gina! Gina, you can't interfere. Gina! Gina, wait!

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Methos: [whispering to Robert] Here comes hip, feint, hip, thrust, jump back.

Robert: Yes, got it.

Gina: He could lose his head!

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Duncan: Gina, no! If he does, it'll be the last thing that guy sees.

Robert: [to Methos] There. That should do it. Just give me a jab. Not too deep.

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Methos: Wuss. Where's your sense of drama? [Runs him through with sword.]

Gina: Robert!

Duncan: No, Gina! No! [Tries to hold her back.]

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Gina: Robert!

Duncan: Gina, no!

Methos: [to Robert] Sorry.

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Gina: [to Methos] You're dead! Come back here! You're dead!

[Methos runs off then turns around to look.]

[Duncan rushes up to Methos.]

Methos: Do something!

Duncan: Get out of here!

Methos: What the hell was that all about? You were supposed to keep her away. She'll kill me! [Runs off.]

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50.jpg (10189 bytes) [Inside the barge.]

Methos: I knew it. I knew it! Getting between a married couple, it's a rule I haven't broken for 2000 years. I knew this would happen.

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52.jpg (13384 bytes) Duncan: Look, she'll cool off. I'm just telling you to be careful, that's all.

Methos: Great. So I lose my head after 5000 years so that you can play marriage guidance counselor. I must have been out of my mind!

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Duncan: Oh, Methos, come on. The marriage is in two day's time. All you have to do is lay low for a while. They'll go off on their honeymoon. They'll be there for... 10 years. She'll forget all about this. 54.jpg (11424 bytes) Methos: Stake your life on that, would you?

Duncan: [unconvincing pause] Yeah.

Methos: Okay, gimme the keys.

Duncan: What keys?

55.jpg (11489 bytes) Duncan: What keys?

Methos: The keys to the barge.

Duncan: [laughs] You weren't serious. You were testing me.

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58.jpg (11773 bytes) Methos: No. If I'm gonna die, you're gonna pay me for it. Gimme the keys.

Duncan: I can't give you the barge. I just redecorated it!

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59.jpg (12296 bytes) Methos: Nice job. Gimme the keys. Come on.

Duncan: [relents] With friends like you, who needs enemies.

Methos: I was just thinking the same thing.

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59b.jpg (9067 bytes) [Duncan goes to sit down at his desk.]

Methos: Hey! Off.

Duncan: What? It's my chair.

Methos: [gloating] My chair now! [Sits down and puts his feet on the desk.]

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Duncan: You—

Methos: You know where the door is.

[Duncan gathers some papers. Knocks Methos' feet off desk. Methos smiles as Duncan leaves.]

Methos: Have a nice day!

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On to Part 2 >>>

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